There is one thing that bolsters everything in your life, yes you heard it right. Everything!
What could be it possibly?
• You may think of money. Yes, it is important to buy food and essentials to survive. But it is not that you cannot survive without it.
• Love? No, it can turn your life upside down or bring about positive changes but it does not affect everything in your life.
• Health? No, despite the fact that you cannot deny its significance in your life.
The one thing that hinges everything together in our life is – ‘What do we think about ourselves’.
In Jon Juradini’s words (a professor of psychiatry at University of Adelaide) – ‘Life is not just about feeling good. Life is about good at feeling’. If you think you aren’t worthy of anything and would fail at every task you attempt, then you may be shedding off the last drop of self-confidence in you. Evidently, you need more self-confidence to survive. In the quest of long lost self-confidence, we have your back.
The good news is self-confidence can be learned, built on and mastered. That’s why we bring to you the most effective tips to boost self-confidence. Don’t just put them on your back burner after reading. Apply them in real life.
1. ‘Mirror. Mirror. On the Wall. Who is best among all?’
We have already pointed out in the beginning of this blog that your whole world depends on how you see yourself. It not only influences your self-esteem, but everything you are surrounded with. We would like to repeat it here, but in a different way. What you say about yourself can influence your self-confidence? So ideally, you should talk highly of you. But it is little awkward to brag about yourself in front of people. So do it alone. Stand before a mirror and talk encouragingly to yourself. Remind yourself of small achievement that you have experienced recently. If your inner voice tries to defy you, you should defy it back by saying, ‘You are stupid, no wants to hear what do you think. Just remain in the background and keep your mouth shut’. You may feel stupid at times. But believe us, it is highly effective.
2. ‘Feelings! Go to hell’
People will never miss an opportunity to point out your failure. You cannot do anything about it. When someone talks negatively about you, it is natural to feel a little off. You can’t bottle it inside and let it eat you up. Insecurity feeds of anxiety and leads you to isolation. The worst part, you will be hard on yourself. So it is better you give yourself a release. Give it back to those from whom you receive, even it hurts their feelings. Don’t hold back. But sometimes, it is not possible. It might be your teacher who tagged you as a worthless after you tried your best to write the paper properly. In those cases, find someone, whom you trust and rely. And take out your feelings. Say whatever you want to. Express your frustration. In case you don’t find someone. Stand before a wall and tell them ‘go to hell’. It will feel lighter instantly.
3. ‘I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell’
Even Shakespeare agrees that when we fall in love, we attempt to do things which are impossible. Love truly makes us confident. No one can deny that we are all at top of our self-esteem when we are encouraged and supported by the people we love most. This is human psychology. So in the quest of self-confidence, your partner can lend you a helping hand. Do little things for him or her in order to get appreciated. Their words can instantly increase your confidence level. Sometimes, ask your partner what they think of you. Naturally, lovers point out positives of their partners (if they haven’t had a fight recently). Hearing good things about you potentially raises the bar of your self-confidence. After all, it is good to be in love!
4. ‘Will keep calm and think positive’
An average human brain generates 65,000 thoughts in a day. Studies reveal 80–90 percent of thoughts are negative. We mostly think about bad things that would happen to us or the fears that would come alive. We barely think of hopes and dreams. So psychologists suggest our brains need to balance between negativity and positivity. It means you have to work on that part. You need to keep out negative thoughts that drain your energy and keep you away from the present moment. How? The best way to do so is to go shopping in your mind. Imagine yourself in a grocery shop, book shop or record-album store. Buy things that you need or desire and arrange them in the order you want. The idea is to keep your mind occupied in order to restrain your brain from thinking negative. If it does not, then write those disturbing thoughts on a piece of paper and throw it in a trash can.
5. ‘Keep smiling… One day life will get tired of upsetting you’
Whoever has stated it deserves a round of applaud because it is true in every possible way. A smile on your face or a good laugh can instantly make you feel better. When bad things happen to you, it is tough to hold that smile on your face. It is hard to find that motivation to wear that smile again. Forcing a smile seems ridiculous and unnecessary, but sometimes smiling is what you need to overcome the sadness. So do yourself a favor and read some lame jokes. Watch a few comedy series like all time favorites ‘Friends’, ‘Seinfeld’, ‘The Simpsons’, ‘How I met your mother’, ‘Modern Family’. Have a good hearty laugh for a few minutes. It will certainly reduce down the cortisol (stress hormone in our body).
6. ‘When you talk, you only repeat what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new’
Dalai Lama truly expresses the significance of learning through his words. Empowering yourself with the knowledge is one of the strategies for boosting self-confidence. And knowledge comes from learning. The more you learn, the more knowledgeable you become. So it is an investment that pays off the best interest. So invest time in learning, not only text books, but also outside your coursework. When you prepare yourself to answer any uncanny question, you automatically feel more confident. But studying is not the only means of learning. Life experiences can teach some harsh and true lesson of life. So take lessons from your mistakes as well someone else’s because it will help you beat the unseen in the future.
7. ‘The struggle ends when gratitude begins’
Just as renowned American author Neale Donald Walsch (of Coversation with God fame) says when we show the attitude of gratitude, 50 percent of our life’s struggle ends there. The reason is when we are thankful for what we have, thoughts of not getting what is desired do not matter. But we are mostly pre-occupied with the thoughts of what we don’t have or can’t have. But we forget to thank God for the things he has given us. So take some time and make a list of things that you are thankful for. It should not be only the big things that have happened to you, but little things that your friends, family acquaintances or even a stranger helped you with. And post them somewhere where you can be easily reminded of how amazing your life has been.
8. ‘Losers visualize the penalties of failure. Winners visualize the rewards of success’
William S. Gilbert has pointed out a harsh truth in front of us. People, who limit themselves to the fear of failure, tend to lose in the end. But the ones, who aim for rewards, win the race. So rewards are important. According to motivational theory, behavior is primarily motivated by rewards. When we see the possibility of getting a worthy reward after accomplishing the task, we try to do it as perfectly as we can. You should apply this theory in getting self-confidence too. Self-esteem is a fragile thing. It can slip through your fingers anytime. So you need to make an effort to boost it. And rewarding yourself is the best way possible. Whenever, you achieve something small, you reward yourself with something that you love the most. Celebrate your small wins, so that you can aim for big wins.
9. ‘It is hard to fail, but it is worse never having tried to success’
Theodore Roosevelt cannot be truer. Fear of failure has consumed more dreams than failure ever will. We all have atychiphobia (fear of failure) in us. It eats up our self-confidence and restrains from dreaming for success. It is a human nature. In order to get rid of this awful feeling, you can try a few tricks. Take one step at a time – when you have a big project in hands. You generally assume that you are going to mess it up. But when you break down the task into smaller and manageable pieces, you are likely to get desired success. If it does not help, have a plan B. If you are afraid your plan A won’t work, then go for plan B. If plan B does not, then plan C will. Keep trying until you achieve it. Once you achieve, your self-confidence will be boosted.
10. ‘There will be a time when we must choose what is right and what is easy’
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of the Fire, Dumbledore reminded Harry how important it is to do the right thing. Despite it being a fiction, it speaks about life. We have to make our choices what is right and what is wrong. Choosing the wrong will always be easier, on the other hand, doing the right thing is always harder. But when you do something that you truly believe is right, it raises your strengths and self-esteem. It might be a small thing like getting from the couch and getting your paper done that is due tomorrow. It might be saying no to your friend visiting you while studying or may be going to the gym (because health is significantly important). It is not always easy to know what the right thing is. But focusing on it and doing your best to achieve it make all the difference.
Now, remind yourself why you started reading this blog in the first place. It is because you were low in self-esteem. Only reading these tricks will not help you to get it back. You need to employ them in order to get the best results.
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